Archive for May, 2011

Self Cleaning

Posted on May 18, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

There are so many things I wish were self-cleaning.  The toilet.  The shower.  The cat litter.  My children.

As I sit looking at the devastated wasteland that is our kitchen table and chairs, I wonder how they can be full with so much food on the lovely new chair cushions.  At what age do kids start realizing, “hmm ….. I dropped food.  Perhaps I should pick it up and put it back on my plate.”  VS…. “I’m now going to throw as much food at my mouth as fast as possible to see how much can go in and whatever falls I will sit in and smoosh until it is completely unrecognizable.”   Someone needs to develop a chair cushion device that dispenses a new cushion top, just like the paper things at the doctors office.  With that, my life just may be complete.

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

Safety First

Posted on May 17, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

Believe me … I’m all for the right levels of safety measures.  When traveling, I fully understand the need for the screening process.  In fact, I think I may have been one of the first people pulled aside to have the full body screen done here in Omaha.  Whatever – they’ve seen it all before so screen away.  I’m especially thankful when I see someone creepy getting pulled aside.  There was a highly suspicious dude who got pulled into “the room” in the Rochester airport last week.  I told my traveling companions that if he passes through and gets on our plan, I will not be. 

There are other times, however, when the level of “safety” seems to outweigh the benefits.  I am old enough to remember the Tylenol incident that prompted safety seals on medicines.  But why, dear god why, must there be a kevlar covering over the Advil bottle?  Generally, when you are trying to get Advil open, you aren’t playing some Minute To Win It Game.  You need it right then.  If you’re lucky, you’re in the kitchen with sharp implements to help you open it.  But then one of those implements will slip and cut your knuckle.  You will then need more Advil.  Maybe that is their ploy – hurt yourself while trying to get through the safety protocol thereby increasing the amount you will need.   If you are unlucky, you are in your car in the middle of the grocery star parking lot resorting to fingernails and knuckles, most likely resulting in another hand injury.

Advil makers, please take note.  I only need to know that someone didn’t get into the bottle before me … a think, easily puncturable layer of foil would be much appreciated.

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

The Inevitable

Posted on May 4, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments |

After BigD dropped ChickenFried off at his first kid pitch baseball practice, he informed me they also changed to the true baseball this year.  We were laughing a bit thinking of the first time ChickenFried gets hit with the ball because “he’ll know it.”   We didn’t have to wait long. 

Again, first night of baseball practice ….. within the first 15 minutes (probably around the same time BigD was telling me) ChickenFried takes a pop-up grounder to the upper cheekbone just below his eye.  He said he did cry, “because it hurt really really bad,” but kept on playing.   Now, as if this isn’t ironic enough, it was his good friend that hit the ball.  Tell me they won’t be talking about that for many years to come!

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

Liked it here?
Why not try sites on the blogroll...