Elemental Memories

What kind of kid?

Posted on October 12, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

The kids and I were watching All Star Family Brain Surge (a kids game show).   The players were star parents accompanied by their child, usually around age 10.  The players were shown a series of movie spoof names, like “Smirks,” “Captain South America,” and “Diary of a Pimply Kid.”  When it came to one family, the son was going to guess the Diary movie, move misheard one key word ….. pimply.  The kid though the word was ‘pimpy.’  The dad was mortified and kept correcting him and the kid kept arguing with him.  Finally the kid relented but by then we were all laughing our behinds off.  Not that ChickenFried really understood.  In fact, he knew he didn’t understand because he asked – ‘whats pimpy?’  I would have taken the “where to babies come from” question over “what’s a pimp.”   The only thing I   was “it’s bad – don’t say it.”

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The Lewis and Clark Expedition

Posted on October 10, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

ChickenFried had homework tonight, so we went on our own Lewis and Clark Expedition.  I was taking my time and really working with him to understand what the question was really asking, or helping him figure out why he thought something.  We did a lot of our own research on the internet.  It was interesting and I even learned something new, but was admittedly happy when I saw we finished the last question on the page.  To my dismay, he turned the page and revealed three more pages needed to be completed.   My response of “holy shit” was probably a little improper.

One page was entirely about Sacagawea.  I’m guessing his teacher will know his Mom helped vs his Dad when she reads the answer to “Why was Sacagawea is one of the most famous women in American history?”  Answer – “she was the first strong woman to shape American history.”  He did come up with the fact that she was brave all on his own, so I didn’t think the last one was too much of a stretch.

One page was all opinions, surprisingly more difficult for a 4th grader than just regurgitating facts.  My favorite answer of ChickenFried’s: What was the most amazing thing about the expedition.  His answer: That they did it without dying.   Yep, pretty amazing that they survived their expedition, just like ChickenFried and I did!

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It’s Just Blankets

Posted on October 8, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

Punk is tired.  So of course she wants two things: her baby and her thumb.    BigD has warned her that if she sucks her thumb, she needs to go to bed.  She chose to go back in our bedroom and watch tv (we have the big tv for the game of course).  Understand there are many blankets in our bedroom to snuggle in.  So, BigD was a little suspect when she went to her bedroom to get blankets.  He told her to bring the blankets over to him.  You could see the wheels turning in her mind.   “No daddy – I’m just going to go snuggle in the chair with them.  It’s ok.”  He insisted.  I’m shocked, but she brought them over and as soon as he unrolled them, two babies came rolling out (#3 is lost).   Babies are now back in her bed and she just came to BigD to complain that she loves her babies and he is mean.

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And now, another episode of boys vs girls

Posted on June 14, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, The Parenting Thing |

ChickenFried participated in a sports camp the other day.  That night we told him ti hit the showers.  His response …. “why?  The sweat is all dried up now.”

Punk volunteered to vacuum.  She discovered it’s easier to vacuum the kitchen floor while sitting.  Apparently being closer to the object, lets you see what you need to vacuum a lot easier.

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Self Cleaning

Posted on May 18, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

There are so many things I wish were self-cleaning.  The toilet.  The shower.  The cat litter.  My children.

As I sit looking at the devastated wasteland that is our kitchen table and chairs, I wonder how they can be full with so much food on the lovely new chair cushions.  At what age do kids start realizing, “hmm ….. I dropped food.  Perhaps I should pick it up and put it back on my plate.”  VS…. “I’m now going to throw as much food at my mouth as fast as possible to see how much can go in and whatever falls I will sit in and smoosh until it is completely unrecognizable.”   Someone needs to develop a chair cushion device that dispenses a new cushion top, just like the paper things at the doctors office.  With that, my life just may be complete.

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Safety First

Posted on May 17, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

Believe me … I’m all for the right levels of safety measures.  When traveling, I fully understand the need for the screening process.  In fact, I think I may have been one of the first people pulled aside to have the full body screen done here in Omaha.  Whatever – they’ve seen it all before so screen away.  I’m especially thankful when I see someone creepy getting pulled aside.  There was a highly suspicious dude who got pulled into “the room” in the Rochester airport last week.  I told my traveling companions that if he passes through and gets on our plan, I will not be. 

There are other times, however, when the level of “safety” seems to outweigh the benefits.  I am old enough to remember the Tylenol incident that prompted safety seals on medicines.  But why, dear god why, must there be a kevlar covering over the Advil bottle?  Generally, when you are trying to get Advil open, you aren’t playing some Minute To Win It Game.  You need it right then.  If you’re lucky, you’re in the kitchen with sharp implements to help you open it.  But then one of those implements will slip and cut your knuckle.  You will then need more Advil.  Maybe that is their ploy – hurt yourself while trying to get through the safety protocol thereby increasing the amount you will need.   If you are unlucky, you are in your car in the middle of the grocery star parking lot resorting to fingernails and knuckles, most likely resulting in another hand injury.

Advil makers, please take note.  I only need to know that someone didn’t get into the bottle before me … a think, easily puncturable layer of foil would be much appreciated.

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I did that?

Posted on April 26, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories |

I know – I know.  Another long absence.  Stupid life getting in the way of my blogging!  So a few items to catch you up…..

We just took pause to note that our cat, Stoney, is around 13 or 14.   Not that she acts ancient – she’s still pretty darn good for an old lady.  In fact, as of late she has decided to try and sneak out of the house (she is strictly an indoor cat).  Apparently I didn’t notice her sneaking out one night when putting the dogs in.  She is dark gray …. and it was dark out.  So our old cat spent her first night outside at the age of 13.  And survived without a scratch.  We do wish we would have known – so we could have videotaped her adventures!

I had a moment at work.  I was participating an in industry review webinar that included live polling of the participants.  One question came along and I thought, “wow, that’s a really interesting question.”  Then a few moments later I remembered i submitted it.  Again in my defense, they did reword it slightly.  (BigD made me blog this because he pointed out that I always blog about every else’s ‘moments.’)

Last, and absolutely not least, we celebrated BigD’s grandparent’s 70th wedding anniversary.  They are such amazing people – we are so blessed to have them in our family and share in this momentous event.  Thanks and congratuations Gigi and Papa!!

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Harmful to your health?

Posted on February 6, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

Inspiration struck …. maybe a little less inspiration and a little more frustration, and I decided today was the day to reorganize ChickenFried’s closet.  This did mean first cleaning it out.  We found a bunch of old cards and papers so told BigD to get the fire going so I could burn them.  While he did chastise me for putting papers on the top of the fire, he didn’t tell me not to burn anything in my pile …. like the singing cards.

I was about half way through the pile when we heard a very loud pop.  We first looked at the children assuming they had dome something to cause the noise.  Then, another loud pop and two pieces of shrapnel come flying out of the fireplace, bounce off the kitchen counter and land on the floor.   That’s a good 15 feet by my estimation.  Were we “smaller people” I’m sure we could sue someone for not putting a warning label on the card …. “do not burn after use or you could suffer injury or disgusting burning smells in your house.”  But we won’t do that.  Otherwise, they would have to put warnings on about handling carefully to avoid papercuts and other nonsense. 

So, now we know.  Do not burn singing cards, talking cards, cards that sound like mummy farts, or have any mechanical devices what so ever.

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Opposites?

Posted on February 3, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, The Parenting Thing |

Every parent has those incredible moments when your child totally amazes you.  I had that moment with ChickenFried the other night. 

“Mom, does everything have an opposite?” he inquired.

Wow – that’s a really good question.   I mean really good.  And where did it come from?  What was he thinking about? 

Of course my mind immediately went to the BIG opposite God/Devil …. Good/Evil.  (Have you ever noticed how similar those word pairs are?)  I mustered, “That’s a really good question.  I don’t everything has an opposite.  Can you think of something that doesn’t?  Does a car have an opposite?”  I’m sure that was such a disappointing respose to him.

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School Day

Posted on February 2, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, The Parenting Thing |

After all the lovely weather here in the midwest, it appears we will actually have school tomorrow.  ChickenFried was complaining that he had to go to school but Punk didn’t.  Punk had some perfect advice for him “just pretend you’re sick.  Then you won’t have to go.” 

Did I really just hear that?  My five year old who doesn’t even go to school yet and hasn’t ever had a ‘sick day’ give her brother that advice?  And where, may I ask, did it originate from?

Have I mentioned how much we are in trouble with this one?

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