Mommy Moments

What kind of kid?

Posted on October 12, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

The kids and I were watching All Star Family Brain Surge (a kids game show).   The players were star parents accompanied by their child, usually around age 10.  The players were shown a series of movie spoof names, like “Smirks,” “Captain South America,” and “Diary of a Pimply Kid.”  When it came to one family, the son was going to guess the Diary movie, move misheard one key word ….. pimply.  The kid though the word was ‘pimpy.’  The dad was mortified and kept correcting him and the kid kept arguing with him.  Finally the kid relented but by then we were all laughing our behinds off.  Not that ChickenFried really understood.  In fact, he knew he didn’t understand because he asked – ‘whats pimpy?’  I would have taken the “where to babies come from” question over “what’s a pimp.”   The only thing I   was “it’s bad – don’t say it.”

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The Lewis and Clark Expedition

Posted on October 10, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

ChickenFried had homework tonight, so we went on our own Lewis and Clark Expedition.  I was taking my time and really working with him to understand what the question was really asking, or helping him figure out why he thought something.  We did a lot of our own research on the internet.  It was interesting and I even learned something new, but was admittedly happy when I saw we finished the last question on the page.  To my dismay, he turned the page and revealed three more pages needed to be completed.   My response of “holy shit” was probably a little improper.

One page was entirely about Sacagawea.  I’m guessing his teacher will know his Mom helped vs his Dad when she reads the answer to “Why was Sacagawea is one of the most famous women in American history?”  Answer – “she was the first strong woman to shape American history.”  He did come up with the fact that she was brave all on his own, so I didn’t think the last one was too much of a stretch.

One page was all opinions, surprisingly more difficult for a 4th grader than just regurgitating facts.  My favorite answer of ChickenFried’s: What was the most amazing thing about the expedition.  His answer: That they did it without dying.   Yep, pretty amazing that they survived their expedition, just like ChickenFried and I did!

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It’s Just Blankets

Posted on October 8, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

Punk is tired.  So of course she wants two things: her baby and her thumb.    BigD has warned her that if she sucks her thumb, she needs to go to bed.  She chose to go back in our bedroom and watch tv (we have the big tv for the game of course).  Understand there are many blankets in our bedroom to snuggle in.  So, BigD was a little suspect when she went to her bedroom to get blankets.  He told her to bring the blankets over to him.  You could see the wheels turning in her mind.   “No daddy – I’m just going to go snuggle in the chair with them.  It’s ok.”  He insisted.  I’m shocked, but she brought them over and as soon as he unrolled them, two babies came rolling out (#3 is lost).   Babies are now back in her bed and she just came to BigD to complain that she loves her babies and he is mean.

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Music

Posted on July 30, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments |

ChickenFried has been begging me for months to put music on his DSi.  I tried doing this once by using what, in my mind should have worked, a simple copy and paste.  No luck.  So, today when the request came again I proclaimed I would give it 15 minutes and if I couldn’t find a solution by then I was done.  I assumed You Tube was my best bet to find workable instructions.  Much to my dismay, I learned how to convert music files and place on them on the SD card from a child on You Tube.  That hurts.

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Limits

Posted on July 17, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments |

We all have limits to things we can tolerate. 

My whining limit — zero. 

My humidity limit — step outside right now. 

The kids making messes limit and not picking up — please do not come to our house today.

The house falling apart limit: 

Let’s start with last weekend.  Our drinking water faucet at the sink started dripping, then leaking profusely – all within about 20 minutes.  So poor BigD went back to CB, from whence we had just came, to get a replacement.  It was not an easy replacement.  It kept falling apart when we would try to put it together.  But, we finally got it together (after a few swear words and one bruised toe from a crescent wrench hitting it.)  Later that night, after dinner and starting the dishwasher, ChickenFried went down to put the dogs in (see the humidity comment above) and started yelling there was a leak.  Leak?  Try waterfall.  I opened the cabinet under the sink and the dishwasher hose was flying around shooting out water like something out of a comedy routine.  We got things dried up as best we could, but our nice laminate floor is now permanent warped.

Now, this weekend.  Punk stepped on the back of one of our living room chairs and ripped part of it off.  Yes the chair is old, but it works just fine and I’m not into replacing things that work just fine.  Then onto the 2nd load of laundry and an incessant beeping error.  Oh goody – we get to pull the machine out and clean the drain line.  But if that doesn’t work, we get to call a repair man and give him as much money as he asks for.  After discovering the washing machine issue, I need a drink.  No – not alcohol, yet.  Just water.  I use the brand new faucet …. and it falls apart.  We’ll be sure to check the dish washer hose before starting it tonight.

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The truth …. hurts?

Posted on June 1, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

Tonight, Punk learned a few lessons ….. ok, hopefully learned a few lessons.  You see, Punk likes to tip her chair.  Yes, I realize every child ( and a few adults) go through this.  And, inevitably, what tips, must fall.  Punk chose tonight to make that happen.   Let me set the scene for you –

Punk has dance practice and tonight is special because they are going through their whole routine on the stage.  This is a big deal.  She’s all snazzed up in her cute purple fairy dance outfit.  But before we go, she needs dinner.  She wants spaghettios.  I hesitate, because as I mentioned, she is in her cute purple fair dance outfit.  I acquiesce and wrap a large dish towel around her to protect the outfit.  She asks if she can sit at the counter in the tall chair and watch cartoons.  Since ChickenFried is at baseball, I again acquiesce realizing she doesn’t get the tv all to herself very often.   Then, while I’m picking up laundry amazingly still on the floor from this am, I hear the crash.  I don’t need to hear the scream to know it’s bad …. I’m already moving to the kitchen.

First I hold her.  Then check her face, and I see some blood coming from her mouth.  Since one our friend’s children recently knocked out her two front teeth, I am thinking the worst.  I inspect everything and determine teeth are firmly in place, but she has a nice gash to the top lip and on her top gum from the counter edge, and a pretty good knock to the cheek.   She will live, but not be very happy about it.  So I make a decision to not sugar coat it.

“Mommy – it’s bleeding.   Baaaaad.”

“Yes honey – it is.  You split your lip and cut your gum.”

“It hurts Mommy.   Baaaaaaaad.”

“Yes honey – it’s going to.  You split your lip and cut your gum.”

“Am I going to have a fat lip.”

“Yes, you already do.  And you’re going to probably have a bruise on your cheek, and your mouth is probably going to hurt.”

“Ok.  (pause)   Can we go to dance practice now?”

“Yes.  But first tell me if you are ever going to tip your chair again.”

“No.  Can we go now?”

I am happy to report there was no spilling of the Spaghettios, or blood, on the cute purple fairy outfit.  She went to practice like a trooper.  She lived through the blood, fat lip, sore cheek and gum, and hopefully will never tip her chair again.

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Self Cleaning

Posted on May 18, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

There are so many things I wish were self-cleaning.  The toilet.  The shower.  The cat litter.  My children.

As I sit looking at the devastated wasteland that is our kitchen table and chairs, I wonder how they can be full with so much food on the lovely new chair cushions.  At what age do kids start realizing, “hmm ….. I dropped food.  Perhaps I should pick it up and put it back on my plate.”  VS…. “I’m now going to throw as much food at my mouth as fast as possible to see how much can go in and whatever falls I will sit in and smoosh until it is completely unrecognizable.”   Someone needs to develop a chair cushion device that dispenses a new cushion top, just like the paper things at the doctors office.  With that, my life just may be complete.

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Safety First

Posted on May 17, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments |

Believe me … I’m all for the right levels of safety measures.  When traveling, I fully understand the need for the screening process.  In fact, I think I may have been one of the first people pulled aside to have the full body screen done here in Omaha.  Whatever – they’ve seen it all before so screen away.  I’m especially thankful when I see someone creepy getting pulled aside.  There was a highly suspicious dude who got pulled into “the room” in the Rochester airport last week.  I told my traveling companions that if he passes through and gets on our plan, I will not be. 

There are other times, however, when the level of “safety” seems to outweigh the benefits.  I am old enough to remember the Tylenol incident that prompted safety seals on medicines.  But why, dear god why, must there be a kevlar covering over the Advil bottle?  Generally, when you are trying to get Advil open, you aren’t playing some Minute To Win It Game.  You need it right then.  If you’re lucky, you’re in the kitchen with sharp implements to help you open it.  But then one of those implements will slip and cut your knuckle.  You will then need more Advil.  Maybe that is their ploy – hurt yourself while trying to get through the safety protocol thereby increasing the amount you will need.   If you are unlucky, you are in your car in the middle of the grocery star parking lot resorting to fingernails and knuckles, most likely resulting in another hand injury.

Advil makers, please take note.  I only need to know that someone didn’t get into the bottle before me … a think, easily puncturable layer of foil would be much appreciated.

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The Inevitable

Posted on May 4, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments |

After BigD dropped ChickenFried off at his first kid pitch baseball practice, he informed me they also changed to the true baseball this year.  We were laughing a bit thinking of the first time ChickenFried gets hit with the ball because “he’ll know it.”   We didn’t have to wait long. 

Again, first night of baseball practice ….. within the first 15 minutes (probably around the same time BigD was telling me) ChickenFried takes a pop-up grounder to the upper cheekbone just below his eye.  He said he did cry, “because it hurt really really bad,” but kept on playing.   Now, as if this isn’t ironic enough, it was his good friend that hit the ball.  Tell me they won’t be talking about that for many years to come!

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Independence

Posted on April 30, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments |

While we weren’t quite as in to the Royal wedding as many people, we did enjoy picking up little tidbits here and there.  And let’s face it … it’s been everywhere so it’s tough to miss.  And of course, Punk finds it all very interesting since it involves a very pretty modern-day princess and all.  On one of the shows they had some photos of Queen Elizabeth’s wedding and then showed her now.  Punk stops in her tracks  and says “she’s still alive????!  Oh my gosh – she is sooooooo old.”

I’m so glad the US won their independence because I don’t think our family would make very good royal subjects.  Insulting the queen just doesn’t get you too far.

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