The Parenting Thing

What kind of kid?

Posted on October 12, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

The kids and I were watching All Star Family Brain Surge (a kids game show).   The players were star parents accompanied by their child, usually around age 10.  The players were shown a series of movie spoof names, like “Smirks,” “Captain South America,” and “Diary of a Pimply Kid.”  When it came to one family, the son was going to guess the Diary movie, move misheard one key word ….. pimply.  The kid though the word was ‘pimpy.’  The dad was mortified and kept correcting him and the kid kept arguing with him.  Finally the kid relented but by then we were all laughing our behinds off.  Not that ChickenFried really understood.  In fact, he knew he didn’t understand because he asked – ‘whats pimpy?’  I would have taken the “where to babies come from” question over “what’s a pimp.”   The only thing I   was “it’s bad – don’t say it.”

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The Lewis and Clark Expedition

Posted on October 10, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

ChickenFried had homework tonight, so we went on our own Lewis and Clark Expedition.  I was taking my time and really working with him to understand what the question was really asking, or helping him figure out why he thought something.  We did a lot of our own research on the internet.  It was interesting and I even learned something new, but was admittedly happy when I saw we finished the last question on the page.  To my dismay, he turned the page and revealed three more pages needed to be completed.   My response of “holy shit” was probably a little improper.

One page was entirely about Sacagawea.  I’m guessing his teacher will know his Mom helped vs his Dad when she reads the answer to “Why was Sacagawea is one of the most famous women in American history?”  Answer – “she was the first strong woman to shape American history.”  He did come up with the fact that she was brave all on his own, so I didn’t think the last one was too much of a stretch.

One page was all opinions, surprisingly more difficult for a 4th grader than just regurgitating facts.  My favorite answer of ChickenFried’s: What was the most amazing thing about the expedition.  His answer: That they did it without dying.   Yep, pretty amazing that they survived their expedition, just like ChickenFried and I did!

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That’s So Random

Posted on June 30, 2011. Filed under: The Parenting Thing |

I sure don’t want to insult Demi Lovato (not that she would ever read this blog), but I have to say “That’s So Random” is waaaayyy funnier now that they’ve changed up the format.  It is not a true skit show aimed at teeny boppers, but with humor adults can get.  Frankly, I think their skits are better than SNL’s have been for years.  So, if you want a little guilty pleasure, check it out.  It’s on the Disney channel.

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Sheep Dog

Posted on June 26, 2011. Filed under: The Parenting Thing |

The fam and I were taking in a bit of AFV this evening.  There was one particular vidoe that showed a bunch of sheep crossing a road and then a dog.  I explained to ChickenFried that one of Grandma’s dogs, Millie, is a sheepdog and would do that.  Big D then added, “yeah, but she’d need to lose 20 pounds.”

There was a dramatic pause and ChickenFried gave BigD a really confused look …. kind of like ‘you did not just say what I think you said?’

I clarified that BigD meant Millie and not Grandma 🙂 By the way, BigD did agree that’s what he meant!

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And now, another episode of boys vs girls

Posted on June 14, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, The Parenting Thing |

ChickenFried participated in a sports camp the other day.  That night we told him ti hit the showers.  His response …. “why?  The sweat is all dried up now.”

Punk volunteered to vacuum.  She discovered it’s easier to vacuum the kitchen floor while sitting.  Apparently being closer to the object, lets you see what you need to vacuum a lot easier.

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The truth …. hurts?

Posted on June 1, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

Tonight, Punk learned a few lessons ….. ok, hopefully learned a few lessons.  You see, Punk likes to tip her chair.  Yes, I realize every child ( and a few adults) go through this.  And, inevitably, what tips, must fall.  Punk chose tonight to make that happen.   Let me set the scene for you –

Punk has dance practice and tonight is special because they are going through their whole routine on the stage.  This is a big deal.  She’s all snazzed up in her cute purple fairy dance outfit.  But before we go, she needs dinner.  She wants spaghettios.  I hesitate, because as I mentioned, she is in her cute purple fair dance outfit.  I acquiesce and wrap a large dish towel around her to protect the outfit.  She asks if she can sit at the counter in the tall chair and watch cartoons.  Since ChickenFried is at baseball, I again acquiesce realizing she doesn’t get the tv all to herself very often.   Then, while I’m picking up laundry amazingly still on the floor from this am, I hear the crash.  I don’t need to hear the scream to know it’s bad …. I’m already moving to the kitchen.

First I hold her.  Then check her face, and I see some blood coming from her mouth.  Since one our friend’s children recently knocked out her two front teeth, I am thinking the worst.  I inspect everything and determine teeth are firmly in place, but she has a nice gash to the top lip and on her top gum from the counter edge, and a pretty good knock to the cheek.   She will live, but not be very happy about it.  So I make a decision to not sugar coat it.

“Mommy – it’s bleeding.   Baaaaad.”

“Yes honey – it is.  You split your lip and cut your gum.”

“It hurts Mommy.   Baaaaaaaad.”

“Yes honey – it’s going to.  You split your lip and cut your gum.”

“Am I going to have a fat lip.”

“Yes, you already do.  And you’re going to probably have a bruise on your cheek, and your mouth is probably going to hurt.”

“Ok.  (pause)   Can we go to dance practice now?”

“Yes.  But first tell me if you are ever going to tip your chair again.”

“No.  Can we go now?”

I am happy to report there was no spilling of the Spaghettios, or blood, on the cute purple fairy outfit.  She went to practice like a trooper.  She lived through the blood, fat lip, sore cheek and gum, and hopefully will never tip her chair again.

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Changing Weather

Posted on February 19, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

Remember the scene in Mary Poppins where “a storm is a’ brewin?”  That’s happening in our house right now.  There’s a storm a brewin’ and the kids are going to have it out.  I think BigD and I will just step back and see what happens.  It could be more entertaining than anything on cable tonight. 

Preview: Cut to the mom looking out the front door watching her son stroll by with the wheel barrow and shovels.    Younger sister following closely pig tails blowing in the wind.  Younger sister has to detour to the house for a quick potty break.  Meanwhile older brother begins digging.  Cut to the father investigating what son is doing and discovers he is digging where all the lines run to the house. 

Father: You can’t dig there.  You’re going to cut through one of the wires.  Just pick all this stuff up and come inside. 

Younger sister: No – I didn’t get to dig anything yet.

Older brother to sister: You have to come help me bring everything in.

Younger sister: NO – I didn’t get to dig anything.

Mom to younger sister: You pick up the balls and he will put away all the digging stuff.

Younger sister rushes outside and screams at older brother: IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT

Mom to younger sister: that wasn’t very nice.  What do you mean it’s all his fault?

Younger sister to Mom: It’s his fault I didn’t get to dig.  He picked the wrong spot so we had to stop.  It is his fault.

End scene with mother looking both bewildered and bemused.

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Posted on February 17, 2011. Filed under: Mommy Moments, The Parenting Thing |

I admit it.  I lose things.  In fact, I’m really good at losing things.  Or perhaps I should say I’m really good at not finding them.  I don’t mean to.  It generally happens when there are many things going on at once so where I put my cell phone didn’t really matter at that particular moment.  I obviously knew I was putting it “somewhere safe” at the time so why worry about it, or make a mental note.  Except …… the phone is dead.  And so now when looking for it, it doesn’t ring.  There is no magic handset finder button.  I really wasn’t going to worry about it that much because I’m about due for a new phone, but BigD figured he would make a final pass of the vehicle with a flashlight.  I’m not sure why, but he stopped at my purse.  Now understand, I had literally emptied out the inside of my purse —– twice —– no phone —– anywhere.  But, BigD in a Houdini moment reaches in the side pocket and magically finds my phone.  I never put it in the side pocket.  The only thing I put in the side pocket is my sunglass clips.  I was appropriately chastised ….. and then laughed very hard.

Fast-forward a few days and ChickenFried can’t find his camera battery charger anywhere.  I’ve looked in all the usual spots.  He’s looked in all the usual spots (after last week’s phone performance, I deserve to be double-checked).  I find an online ordering spot and explain we can buy a new one, but he forgoes his allowance for this week.  He decides to look harder.  I tell him to look in the basket with all the Wii stuff.  The first thing he pulls out – camera battery charger.  So, allowance is back on.

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Posted on February 3, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, The Parenting Thing |

Every parent has those incredible moments when your child totally amazes you.  I had that moment with ChickenFried the other night. 

“Mom, does everything have an opposite?” he inquired.

Wow – that’s a really good question.   I mean really good.  And where did it come from?  What was he thinking about? 

Of course my mind immediately went to the BIG opposite God/Devil …. Good/Evil.  (Have you ever noticed how similar those word pairs are?)  I mustered, “That’s a really good question.  I don’t everything has an opposite.  Can you think of something that doesn’t?  Does a car have an opposite?”  I’m sure that was such a disappointing respose to him.

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School Day

Posted on February 2, 2011. Filed under: Elemental Memories, The Parenting Thing |

After all the lovely weather here in the midwest, it appears we will actually have school tomorrow.  ChickenFried was complaining that he had to go to school but Punk didn’t.  Punk had some perfect advice for him “just pretend you’re sick.  Then you won’t have to go.” 

Did I really just hear that?  My five year old who doesn’t even go to school yet and hasn’t ever had a ‘sick day’ give her brother that advice?  And where, may I ask, did it originate from?

Have I mentioned how much we are in trouble with this one?

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