“Not Me” Monday

Posted on September 28, 2009. Filed under: Meme Fun, Mommy Moments | Tags: , , |

mckmama at the mycharmingkids.net blog started something fun a while ago, and I’m just now finding it????  As ChickenFried would say, “what the?”

As mckmama tells it: Are you feeling guilty for drying the dishes with your shirt?  Hope no one saw you when you ran into the mailbox in your jammies?  Overcome with embarrassment after your child asked the grocery store clerk, who did NOT have a baby in her tummy “if she had a baby in her tummy?”  Well don’t be!  Not Me! Monday was born out of the desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I’d rather forget.  You may find it therapeutic to do the same thing!

So here I go.

I did not complain about it being Monday again.  Why in the world would I ever do that.  Mondays are wonderful.  They are the best day of the week.  They set the tone.

I did not mouth “quit fixing your hair and drive” to the blonde girl in front of me at the only-green-so-long turn arrow.  She did not catch me mouthing something.  I did not then try to make it seem like I was talking on my blue tooth …. which I really do not have (really). 

I am not the mother who ‘lamed out’ on dinner and only made chicken chunks and fries.  Nope – not me.  Not ever. 

I did not make fun of BigD after he said “Wizard of Oz is on.  It’s the original too — it’s in black and white.”  I did not then look at him and say “you can’t be serious.”  I did not follow with a blog post about this. 

I am not not going to find an excuse to not workout tonight.  Wait — what the?

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Saturday 9 – You Like Me Too Much

Posted on September 12, 2009. Filed under: Meme Fun, Mommy Moments | Tags: , |

1. If everyone liked each other, what would we complain about?

How frackin nice everyone is.

2. If you were most powerful person in the world, how would you use that power?

I’d start by making my kid stop asking me when his friend is going to get here.

3. If had exactly one year to live, what are the three things you’d want to do before you died?

Travel, Travel, and um, Travel

4. If you could change one thing about the world, what would that one thing be?

People would take more personal responsibility – no blaming, no whining.  Sorry you had a bad childhood but that doesn’t give you the right to go kill someone.

5. If you could take one thing back, what would that one thing be?

I said something really mean to a friend in high school.  I know – everyone says mean things in high school … but this was uncalled for.  That’s really the only thing that ‘hangs with me’ possibly because she died a year later.

6. If you were stuck on an island forever but had all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would be the three other things you’d bring with you?

Well, there’s four in our family so you do the math.



7. If the internet didn’t exist, would the quality of life go up or down?

I don’t know how I ever did a term paper without the internet.  It’s true, kids these days have it so easy.

8. If a million dollars fell off a back of a truck, would you keep it?

I’d have to reason that anyone who put a million bucks on the back of a truck wanted to lose it.

9. What is something you said, something you stole, something you did wrong?

said – apparently I use the word “actually” a lot.

stole and wrong – ok, this one is funny, but wrong.  In college I lived in a suite.  Every Sunday night the suitemates would make dinner so you would take turns.  My roommate and I didn’t plan well so we didn’t have a lot of money when it was our turn to make dinner.  So, we went to the local grocery store and stuck a package of hotdogs inside my jacket.  As we were walking out, the package fell out.  I looked at her and said “I dropped the weenies.”  We grabbed the package and ran out.  Yes – we were laughing.  Yes – it was wrong.  And yes – I hope my kids never do that.

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Saturday 9 – I Ran

Posted on August 22, 2009. Filed under: Meme Fun | Tags: , |

1. When’s the last time you ran?

Today – I ended up being the coach of ChickenFried’s soccer team and this am was our first practice.  I ended up more sweaty than the kids.

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?

No – not since the 80’s.

 

3. What are you dreading right now?

Paying our property taxes.  They jacked it up on us.  I’m sure they have a “target” number to hit and spread it out where they can so we got part of the love.

4. Do you like Mexican food?

I like ‘fake’ Mexican food — the kind that is based loosely on Mexican, but then adds a lot of cheese.

5. Favorite ice cream?

Ice cream.

6. When was your last doctor’s visit?

? No clue.

7. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?

Amazingly, I did last night. 

8. How many pets do you have?

Two – a dog and a cat.  I don’t count the fish in the kids room.  If you can’t pet it, it’s not a pet.

9. “First Loves Are Never Over;” is this true for you?

No.  As I look back, mine were pretty stupid.

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It’s Tuesday, and Time for a Meme from MIMI

Posted on August 18, 2009. Filed under: Meme Fun | Tags: , , |

Here is my Tuesday challenge from Mimi: 

Take a look at these profile headlines from real dating sites. Imagine you are trying to find a date and these gems have just landed in your inbox. How would you respond to them? Write a comeback response to each one. Be sarcastic, be funny, be brave! Spelling errors not my own. Names and locations have been changed to protect the terminally single. If you need inspiration, go HERE for hundreds of funny examples.
You know you wanna play!

In honor of my 500th “Bachelor of The Day” to post this week on my site called Dating Profile Of The Day we bring you The Dating Meme. For three years I’ve been rummaging through online dating profiles to find the zaniest and most ridiculous profile headlines out there. They write ’em. I spoof ’em. Do you know that some folks are grammatically insane?? And some are just insane.

1.  Birdbrain looking for a mate

Reply:  look elsewhere

 

2.  Where are all the Bad Girls?

Reply: 1-900 …..

 

3.  A Good Woman is Hard to Fine

Reply: Be a better man

 

4.  Does God know you escaped from heaven

Reply: He sent me

 

5.  I put the FUN in dysFUNctional

Reply: I put the FUN in antiFUNgal

 

6.  Does this profile make me look fat?

Reply:  No, it just makes you look stupid.

 

7.  I’m a no nonsince person with little tolorrance for stupitity

Reply: How do you live with yourself

 

All I have to say after all this is thank God I’m happily married.

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The Queen’s Meme — The Woodstock Meme

Posted on August 11, 2009. Filed under: Meme Fun | Tags: , |

awoodstock

These are my instructions to play along.  I’ve filled in the blanks with my answers in italics…..and in case you’re wondering where I came up with this crap, it’s all tied to who performed at Woodstock that fateful weekend.

Forty years ago this week, three days of peace, love and rock ‘n roll (and mud) happened near Bethel, New York.  It was the Summer of 1969.  Attire: Hippie jeans.  Long hair.  Legal or illegal smoke.  Psychedelic vibe. 

The scene:  You are at Woodstock.  You go alone but meet up with a beautiful man/woman.  You spend three days together.  Put yourself inside the peace & love vibe.  You can choose to be stoned or straight.  I put it in the story for the sake of reality.  Just don’t inhale in this meme.

This is the conversation you have upon meeting or you can make it into what you overhear others say.  It makes no sense and has no continuity by design.  You must fill in the familiar blanks to finish the story.  Some are song lyrics.  You may use more than one word to fill in the blanks. 

Oh! I forgot to tell you (must be the smoke in here)   You have a new name.  It must a combination of the first letter of your first name, the third letter of your middle name and the last letter of your last name.

Peace out! Somebody might wanna turn on a fan in here.

1. “Hello, my groovy name is Janis Joplin (why not??  maybe Bobby McGee was there too)!    By the looks of those flowers in your hair, you must be The Grateful Dead.   Didn’t they tell you?  No Canned Heat allowed!  

2. Come on, Baby, light my Iron Butterfly.  When I lay me down to Crosby, Stills and Nash, I pray the The Band my Incredible String Band to keep.  If I Sha-Na-Na before I wake, I pray the The Grateful Dead my The Fish to take. **puff puff**

3. Because the first time ever I saw your Sweetwater I realized that what the world needs now is blood, sweat and sweet tears.  Besides, I always feel guilty watching you Shankar when I should be Santana.  But I dig it!

4. Have I told you lately that I Sly you?  Hey!  Don’t step on that Creedance Clearwater Revival !!  Dude.       That guy is really weird but…..

5. There’s a party in my sleeping bag and half a million of my Keef Hartley Band friends are coming over tonight and we’re gonna Hendrix my baby off my mind.  Darn the luck.  It’s raining Quills(s) and Mountain(s).  Luckily, Papa was a rolling Jefferson Airplane and I’m on a first name basis with the cops. **puff puff** 

6. I’m really digging your Melanie but that Sommer has got to go.   Those flowers in your hair are beginning to smell like Winter.  Have I told you lately that I Butterfield you? ** puff puff**

7. I’m beginning to see Jefferson Airplane in those trees over there. Do you see it? Out of all the millions of hippies here, you are the most Ravi. But I dig it, man. **puff puff**

8. I’d use all my blood, sweat and The Family Stone (Tears was too easy) just to get next to your Joe Cocker.  Love is free but I’d really like to buy that guy’s String. It says “Make The Who not Sha-Na-Na. ”  Far out!

9. I’m grateful to be John Sebastian ’cause there’s a bad Sweetwater rising in Jefferson’s Airplane.  But that’s okay, ’cause Joe Cocker said I could get by with a little Canned Heat from my friends.

10. Oh, by the way, your McDonald is on fire. But I dig it. **

You might stay out of the dungeon if you post a picture of yourself or someone you know in your hippie clothes (if you’re old enough)**

And, the pdr (my Mom is sweating right now — rest assured Mom.  I’m too tired to go dig an old pic of you out!!!).  Here is little Punk in her Halloween costume – she was a hippie chick … courtesy of who else but my Mom!!!

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Saturday 9 Fast Car

Posted on July 26, 2009. Filed under: Meme Fun, Mommy Moments | Tags: , , |

Ok – so I’m a day late ….. sorry.  It’s been a little busy around here!

[tracey.jpg]1. What’s the furthest trip you’ve taken by automobile?

I have been coast to coast via automobile.  Since my grandparents did most of the driving, I doubt it was all that fast.  Now me on the other hand…

2. What’s the worst pick up line you’ve ever received?
“Have you tried the rasberry lemonade?  It’s really good.”  Seriously.

3. What’s the best pick up line you’ve gotten?

I don’t think this counts since we were both about 7 … but a kid told me he thought I was prettier than Farrah Fawcett.

4. What was the last gift that you received?

Hmmmm – probably my mp3 player for Mother’s Day. 

5. What was the last gift that you gave someone?

BigD’s b-day was this week.  I gave him a bottle of Evan Williams single barrel.  Apparently it’s pretty good.

6. Tell us about the last time you cried.

A friend’s Mom’s funeral a couple of weeks ago.   I did ok until I saw her walking in with her dad looking at the casket. 

7. Tell us about the last time you laughed uncontrollably.

Friday night with a friend telling her about the time I hit a pole with BigD’s new truck and I tried to hide it, but he totally nailed me on it.

8. Do you suffer road rage? What are your thoughts on it?

I do get irritated iwth other drivers, especially when they are stupid.  And seriously women out there, most of you are worse drivers than men.  Last week I went to pass a guy on our little country highway.  In his defense, he was going the speed limit of 60 …. right on the nose.  But I knew as soon as he hit the hills he’d drop down to 40 so I didn’t want to be behind him.   I passed him very nicely giving lots of room, signaling, etc.  As I got up by him he’s gesturing that he’s doing the speed limit and why am I passing.  Um, because I don’t want to be behind you anymore?  Get over it.

9. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes?

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

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Saturday 9 – I Want You Back

Posted on June 27, 2009. Filed under: Mommy Moments | Tags: , , , , , , |

[jackson_five_iwyb.jpg]1. Where were you when you heard that Michael Jackson died?   At home – I hadn’t watched tv or looked at the news all day and BigD walked in and said “wow, Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett both dead in one day.”  I was pretty shocked at the whole MJ thing.

2. How do you think that he will be remembered?  A mix – as a freak who made some pretty decent music back in the early 80’s.

3. What was your favorite Jackson tune?   I can’t say I have one — sorry.

4. Did you watch the original Charlie’s Angels?    Oh yes.  I LOVED Charlie’s Angels.  I was pretty young, so frankly can’t believe my parents let me watch it!  I used to run around pretending I was a Charlie’s Angel. 

5. Did someone you know have that poster of Farrah?   BigD had THE poster (not that I knew him at that time.)   His mom wouldn’t have approved so he hid it in the closet.   He would like me to clarify that he did not have a Michael Jackson poster … neither did I!

farrah-fawcett-poster-from-ogonbat

6. Did you consider her battle with cancer heroic?  I think anyone who battles cancer is heroic.  I had a little scare earlier this year and I kept thinking – I can deal with two surgeries, but please don’t let me have to get chemo.  Thankfully I only had a few bad cells which they could get out via surgery.  Chemo is nasty stuff.  Cancer is nasty stuff.  I pray for a heart attack.

7. Were you a fan of The Tonight Show Starring Johnnie Carson?   Yes, huge fan.  Again, can’t believe my parents let me watch it as a kid, but whatever! 

8. Did you like Ed McMahon on the show?  I watched for Johnnie.  He was from Nebraska, about 40 minutes from where I grew up. 

9. What else will you remember McMahon for?  Star Search and his big-ass glasses.

Image: Ed McMahon

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Saturday9

Posted on May 23, 2009. Filed under: Mommy Moments | Tags: , , |

1. Is summer your favorite season? Why?
I do like warm weather, but HATE humidity.  I know there are people out there shocked to learn that NE and IA (that’s Nebraska, not New England, and yes I have been asked that), but it gets terrible and I think we might be in for some today.  I also liked the relaxed feeling of summer.  You never feel in a rush to get anywhere or do anything. 

2. Do you exercise more in the summer because you wear less clothing?

Exercise?
3. Do you enjoy tanning or are you more concerned about the dangers of basking in the sun?

Yes – must tan.  It somewhat camoflouges the fact that I don’t really exercise that much.

 

4. You are on the beach when a waiter appears for your drink order. What do you ask for?

Any type of Rita

 

5. Do you camp in the summertime?

 No.  The last time I went camping I was 15.  It was my parents (my step-dad is 6’4 280 lbs, stinky little brother (he’s passed that phase now) and two boxers.   In a tent.   In July.  I don’t know who snored louder or smelled more. 

Amusing side-story.  My SD and brother (he was probably 7 at the time) were cleaning fish and the other guy there cleaning burps really loud.  When he remembers someone else is there he apologizes.  Brother says, “that’s ok, my dad burps and farts all the time and then blames it on the dogs.”  It was true.

6. What was your favorite summer vacation as a kid?

I was fortunate to be a well-traveled kid (above memory not withstanding).  I have to say I loved going to the Black Hills.  We went every year and it was just something to look forward to.

7. Do you enjoy sleeping outdoors?
Why would anyone enjoy sleeping outdoors?
8. Do you throw a summer barbecue every year?

Usually – we cook out almost every night in the summer.

9. Have you ever been to a nude beach? If yes, what did you think?

No, but it wouldn’t bother me.  Although I might actually have to partake of #2…. or maybe just a lot of #4 and then I wouldn’t care.

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